I wondered at that pigeon
Hopping along side another
Head held high
A soldier warring for her pride
hiding a limp
I wondered at her
Another passenger
Another pedestrian
In this town
Of eternal winter
And seldom sun
A single legged miracle
All her life a balancing act
And as the bus moved along
I wondered if it was an act at all
Or if somewhere down her one footed life
The brave face stuck
Until all that was left
Was her
Simply a soldier
a Soldier
Warring for her pride
Friday, April 16, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Looking for shortcuts!!!
What's with ppl when they've crossed certain barriers they lose their braveness. It's like they've build themselves up for just one moment and after that's passed it's like they drop themselves at the fence and curl up to fall asleep. Isn't life about looking for the next something something? Finding the next to do in the list? I never ever thought I'd find myself here. 'Cos I've always been da gutsy one. Don't Like - Walk Away, Bored - Move on, Been There Done That - Turn the page. I don't believe in sitting still and watching moments pass by, but that's exactly what I've been doing. Changing that!!! NOW.
Monday, April 5, 2010
I Love...
I love the way you see the world...just light...colour and light...I love how when I catch my breath you breath for me...I love that you seem to smile even when you try to hide it...I love how you pretend even though I know you know me better...I love how everything about you is simple and you allow me to be the complication...I love that you try without seeming to and how you silently take a skip behind me and I pretend not to see...I love that I know you without needing to do so...I love that even though you see the crossroads not too far away you seem to be only in this moment, only now...I love your innocence...I love your maturity...I love the little memories that flash in your eyes...I love how your voice just seeps in...resonating...I love how you love the world...how you seem to simply capture a moment and set it free...I love how I knew that even before I saw...I love that I forget and you forgive...I love how you listen and how you hear what I don't intend to say...I love how you set me free...I love how you blend into my moment...and make me blend into yours...I love that you're just a little vain to wonder if this is about you...and I love that I'd only forever keep you guessing...until time or something else takes it out of my hands...
Whenever the twain shall meet....
In our corners of this world we sit and wonder soul brother, soul sister, if one day our circle will be complete...but one thing we know for sure....it will be as if we never were apart....
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Two roads for me to take.. two roads to travel...but none's gonna take me home and none's gonna feel this safe....
When did it all become about the money....the k'ching....about people's perceptions....about what they think and feel about you....when did it stop being about you and start being about them...when did it start hurting and stopped stopping....when did we lose ourselves? I look at my sister and I see myself so many years ago....positive, energetic, brave, full of life and spirit....me a long time ago...I think I envy her...hehe good thing I love her so much...
I want to walk back to the place where the child became the adult...where life taught lessons I wanna unlearn...where when love hurt you let it....and then you picked up the pieces and moved on...when I remembered how to love...I want to walk back to where I could look in the mirror and see myself and not the face of the demons I keep fighting everyday...I want the music back...the guitar strings that are now broken...
I want t believe in nirvana...in a higher power...in the strength of your mind...in god...whatever works....because I'm tired of fighting....with you, with me. I wanna stop falling short....because that's what you expect of me...I wanna run the fastest I am capable of and leave you to pace behind...I wanna catch me when I fall not expecting you to....I wanna be weak for a moment....to cry....because it's ok...
I wanna stop feeling that this is the end to all da means of my life... I wanna feel the free will that I speak so highly of....I wanna act it...behave it....succumb to it....swim in it...let it swim in my veins....
More than anything else in the world I want to walk away from you and walk back to me....and the only thing stopping me is a measly strip of paper...one demon...
I want to walk back to the place where the child became the adult...where life taught lessons I wanna unlearn...where when love hurt you let it....and then you picked up the pieces and moved on...when I remembered how to love...I want to walk back to where I could look in the mirror and see myself and not the face of the demons I keep fighting everyday...I want the music back...the guitar strings that are now broken...
I want t believe in nirvana...in a higher power...in the strength of your mind...in god...whatever works....because I'm tired of fighting....with you, with me. I wanna stop falling short....because that's what you expect of me...I wanna run the fastest I am capable of and leave you to pace behind...I wanna catch me when I fall not expecting you to....I wanna be weak for a moment....to cry....because it's ok...
I wanna stop feeling that this is the end to all da means of my life... I wanna feel the free will that I speak so highly of....I wanna act it...behave it....succumb to it....swim in it...let it swim in my veins....
More than anything else in the world I want to walk away from you and walk back to me....and the only thing stopping me is a measly strip of paper...one demon...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
A page from my diary.....
Come on.....step in to my mind.....do you see? this is me...and this is my world....i don't expect you to understand...after all it isn't that simple....I know....I know you wish that it WAS that simple....do you feel that? that's joy....it sucks you in...a roller coaster ride...breaths you in....like love......of course I give into it...I laugh at everything that says life is short....what does it mean? my life is not lived in years. months, days or hours....but seconds....short is not a number....it's an eternity of the uncountable....
peace is a luxury....no....it WAS a luxury....now it's an addiction....it's in every cell every nuance of my existence....like the perfect wine....it's perfection achieved with time...peace.... is twirling and twirling in a lonely living room running back an year with each twirl....back to a childhood of ruffles and bows....
can you smell that? that's apples and berries.....cinnamon and lime....honey and roses...reminding me of a place I left behind....a place I run away from....a place I always end up running to....
it's the heart that skip skip skips a few beats and starts with a new life....there's no fear in this place....no dread... no darkness....
Come walk into my mind.... I am through fighting...this is me giving in....the dawn had touched my cheek....it's pretty...orange and blue and yellow....i am a part of that painting...drawn with the pastels of nature.... I am reluctantly but surely home....
peace is a luxury....no....it WAS a luxury....now it's an addiction....it's in every cell every nuance of my existence....like the perfect wine....it's perfection achieved with time...peace.... is twirling and twirling in a lonely living room running back an year with each twirl....back to a childhood of ruffles and bows....
can you smell that? that's apples and berries.....cinnamon and lime....honey and roses...reminding me of a place I left behind....a place I run away from....a place I always end up running to....
it's the heart that skip skip skips a few beats and starts with a new life....there's no fear in this place....no dread... no darkness....
Come walk into my mind.... I am through fighting...this is me giving in....the dawn had touched my cheek....it's pretty...orange and blue and yellow....i am a part of that painting...drawn with the pastels of nature.... I am reluctantly but surely home....
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Damn it....
WOW…that’s all I have to say….WOW….you know those silver lining you talk about….it’s magic…it’s the WOW factor…. Tom Peters talked about it without even knowing how amazing that WOW factor was…
So my kitten died….I lost my wristwatch….my wallet and phone were stolen AND my visa rejected all within a span of a week…oh n did I forget to mention a thundering basket ball injury? Sigh…now that I think about it…it all seem a tad unreal…I was on da verge of tears…and then comes the blessing in life…
You know we forget the things that are important in life…we leave them for tomorrow…assuming ofcourse that tomorrow will indeed come…big assumption there…more so when you’re a resident in Colombo, Sri Lanka. We forget to tell our friends we love them…we forget to kiss our mothers….we forget to hug our sisters….we compromise for a vague excuse of a smile or some meaningless words…For me…this was the best opportunity to tell them all how much I love them…b’cos I realized no matter how bad it got, it would be worse without them….it would be worse on my own…
So I started with my mom….who hated any physical contact ;) oh well u can’t possibly live like that if you’ve got me for a daughter. So I hugged until she pried my arms away…oh well… and my sister ofcourse who pretends she hates to be hugged but giggles whenever I do….i hugged and tickled her until she couldn’t breath….then my dogs I hugged each one of them and got lots of dog drool all over my face…sigh… I sent my best friend a hug in UK…and sent each of my friends on chat a hug as well… I kissed da photo of my boyo…my soul mate…now somewhere in heaven hopefully having tequila shots and enjoying soft sand and a cool breeze…I took all three of my kittens…cotton, blackster and trinity (I didn’t name them…) one black and white like her mom and the others brown…they miss shady… they used to play in pairs but now they play in threes. They were soft and purry and I let them fall asleep on my hands…and I fell in love….
I fell in love all over again with a world that was a kaleidoscope of imperfections…..beautiful in it’s colours dancing a salsa to the nuances of life… I fell in love…with free will….that musters the strength to say I Love You buddy and I’ll always be there….I fell in love…because inspite of the imperfections and the infinitesimal yet colossal blunders…life never fails to give us a peek into a miracle… or three...three tiny kittens purring themselves to sleep… a scar that fades and doesn’t even leave the memory of an elbow hitting your cheek during basket ball…laughter in my sister’s eyes… breath….breath…
WOW… I fell in love with the peace that was part of every miracle…the humbling peace that overtakes you….life was beautiful…I had done my share of good deeds for the day…and my wallet and phone… I’ve replaced them…for better ones obviously… and I stuck a picture of me and my sister in my new wallet…me 13 she 8…giggling away at some joke I can’t recall…and all I can think is…I didn’t have a place for this in my old wallet…
So my kitten died….I lost my wristwatch….my wallet and phone were stolen AND my visa rejected all within a span of a week…oh n did I forget to mention a thundering basket ball injury? Sigh…now that I think about it…it all seem a tad unreal…I was on da verge of tears…and then comes the blessing in life…
You know we forget the things that are important in life…we leave them for tomorrow…assuming ofcourse that tomorrow will indeed come…big assumption there…more so when you’re a resident in Colombo, Sri Lanka. We forget to tell our friends we love them…we forget to kiss our mothers….we forget to hug our sisters….we compromise for a vague excuse of a smile or some meaningless words…For me…this was the best opportunity to tell them all how much I love them…b’cos I realized no matter how bad it got, it would be worse without them….it would be worse on my own…
So I started with my mom….who hated any physical contact ;) oh well u can’t possibly live like that if you’ve got me for a daughter. So I hugged until she pried my arms away…oh well… and my sister ofcourse who pretends she hates to be hugged but giggles whenever I do….i hugged and tickled her until she couldn’t breath….then my dogs I hugged each one of them and got lots of dog drool all over my face…sigh… I sent my best friend a hug in UK…and sent each of my friends on chat a hug as well… I kissed da photo of my boyo…my soul mate…now somewhere in heaven hopefully having tequila shots and enjoying soft sand and a cool breeze…I took all three of my kittens…cotton, blackster and trinity (I didn’t name them…) one black and white like her mom and the others brown…they miss shady… they used to play in pairs but now they play in threes. They were soft and purry and I let them fall asleep on my hands…and I fell in love….
I fell in love all over again with a world that was a kaleidoscope of imperfections…..beautiful in it’s colours dancing a salsa to the nuances of life… I fell in love…with free will….that musters the strength to say I Love You buddy and I’ll always be there….I fell in love…because inspite of the imperfections and the infinitesimal yet colossal blunders…life never fails to give us a peek into a miracle… or three...three tiny kittens purring themselves to sleep… a scar that fades and doesn’t even leave the memory of an elbow hitting your cheek during basket ball…laughter in my sister’s eyes… breath….breath…
WOW… I fell in love with the peace that was part of every miracle…the humbling peace that overtakes you….life was beautiful…I had done my share of good deeds for the day…and my wallet and phone… I’ve replaced them…for better ones obviously… and I stuck a picture of me and my sister in my new wallet…me 13 she 8…giggling away at some joke I can’t recall…and all I can think is…I didn’t have a place for this in my old wallet…
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