Cowardly Lion....

you know the theory where once burnt will never come near a flame again....and then thrs the stupid measly moth that cant resist....so my parents think its time for me to get hitched....and they're being quite adament about it......da last time they tried that i got a load of chocolates and the poor man ended up with an sms regretably saying no. hmmmm....parents...they just cant take a hint....and they've heard it all....who has time for relationships...concentrating on my career right now....we just dnt have enough in common........let me just give it all in one simple sentence.....WE FEMALES HAVE NO INTENTION OF TOLERATING YOU MALES IN OUR LIVES AT ANY POINT IN THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE!!!!
you're too obsessed, over-protective, over-bearing, need soooooo much of attention and cant stand the fact the women come with smthn smthn up thr other than boobies...
so ya.....im a coward...when it comes to men and relationships it scared me shitless...a hint of testosterone i turn to quicksilver....pronto...so please the next victim....its nothing personal.....
wish my mom read my blog :(

going around and around and around...

so for a change today i submitted my oh so precious time to reading other blogs...eheemmmm.....riight...i did a quick browse through some of them..the very ghetto political fights...the breakups...the lost phones...the tuk tuk rides...the alanis morissette songs....the weddas and the earth quakes. ppl are just awesome at telling their life stories....its one long book of minute tales..everyone comes a long way in their lives....hell i have....im not da sobby bratty teenager i used to be...my red rimmed glasses have dropped to be replaced by contacts...my pimpywimpies have disappeared..my hair doesnt look like a bird's nest no more...and i can actually wear heals without toppling over....
somethings havent changed though...i still fight tooth and nail with my mom to get my way...what's different now is that i usually do....i think she thinks im grown up now....i still have my big whinnie the pooh my first boy friend gave me in my room....i still cry everytime i see sweet november...and im still addicted to chocolates...my favourite quote is still....live life on the edge or you're taking too much of space...and there is dat line i mutter to myself every time i have to make a decision....choose thou the way of greatness or the way of good....to reign a king of kings...or wonder lone crownless and homeless that the world be helped....light of asia....
isnt it amazing how you have atleast one thing in common with everyone you meet....and so many things that conflict and defer....the blends of black and white...never really forming a grey.....hopefully in another 5 years i'll read dis blog and realize....that life was good then....and even better now....

eyes wide shut.....

people always leave....everything has its own season....every relationship be it personal professional.....we turn to our own bi-lanes...we choose our destinies....I’m an attentive listener to my instincts….I smell trouble from a mile and I know how to avoid it…..right now my instincts keep howling at me to stick around with my job….but at times I feel im wasted here….I need the constant adrenaline rush…..last week was superb…..one thing after the other….kill one bug in the system and 3 more pop-up…..it was a squatting match and I was armed with one mighty squatter….it felt good….you never feel tired if you have absolutely wasted yourself out…..you feel tired when you’re bored….doing stupid work and just lazing out….I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE LAZING…..arrrghhhh….that’s what I’m doing right now…..I’m addicted to workin every second…..help......im so bored on weekdays that I make sure my weekends are packed to the brink…..I can barely breath…..at times it feels like im on vacation during da week and doing da real thing on weekends…..I know its gotta stop……but my gut keeps telling me to hang on….hold tight…..yuck……for once I wish the little voice in my head would zip it……

Syndicated Ironies....

I love my job...i do....it gives me da adrenaline rush i need and it gives me the satisfaction that lets me sleep soundly at night...it gives me goosebumps when i've dealt with a problem...well...i wish i could say that...i walked in with my eyes closed...would you believe if i told you that i tossed a coin and joint the company im working at the moment...heads in tails out and it was heads...that defined my destiny....its the only place i applied to and i just didnt want to even try anywhere else...but i do love the place i work in...i love the people i work with....they're amazing...but being a devil in heaven doesnt really get you anywhere now does it...you're never really gonna be happy cos you know you were never meant to be there in the first place...and you know you were meant for different things...the whole purpose you live for and you are who you are...and then comes the feeling that you are being stifled....that the walls are closing in on you...and then you feel like throwing your computer and stamping on it...and you see the ppl around you staring at their screens....you dont belong here....your voice gets meeker every day....but still you always find an excuse to hang around....what's with that anyways...im walking away....its time....to free fall:)

The Rebound Boy...

Sweet like Chocolate...so when you've tasted sour grapes you know how the mildest sweetness can be heaven...for awhile anyways...hehee...until you wake up and smell the socks...lols....

Free Falling...

Trust...is a little child's laughter when you throw them up in the air...because they know you'll catch them...its scary...letting someone into the world between the tiny scribbled letters in your diary...knowing that they're probably gonna shatter your miniscule precious little heart into bits...we cant stay away frm the the proverbial apple, so to speak...we dismiss the occational qualm....expecting the ends to justify its means....how stupid can you get.....NOONE REALLY CHANGES....if you're waiting for your significant other to grow up, grow down, stop being insensitive, stop being obsessive...IT WONT HAPPEN....wisen up....accept it or dump it.....either way...learn to move on...love isnt conditional....the concept doesnt exist....besides a great man once said...."if you want to change the world ...change your mind..."

The Best Policy...

I hate lying… I despise it…its just a stupid white lie right?? Its a win-win no-one-gets-hurt teensy weensy white lie…damn it…if it weren’t for da guilt you feel afterward…man we should have never been born with a conscience. It’s an antithesis. We are the biggest liars on earth…we cheat, we con, we create illusions of ourselves and others around us…it feels awesome for a moment when you get away with it…then comes da doppelganger in you…the annoyingly virtuous one…and it hits you…a lie…disgusting…slimy…stinky…horrible lie…so guess what…I decided what da heck…I have nothing to lose…im gonna be freaking honest about my life…no more lying for convenience…or just to smoothen out a situation…brutal honesty…ouch…
So I had a presentation this morning…and last night my mom tells me...she FORGOT to tell me that I had a meeting about a scholarship at 10…there goes my presentation…anyways…so gotta call my boss and tell him that I cant do the presentation… these are the versions of the truth I came up with:

1) Have to meet up with our Dean about higher studies
2) Have a meeting with the Medical Research Institute about my thesis
3) Have a meeting with my professors about my thesis

All of them were well umm….related…it had to do with my studies and um….they were all meetings…but a little more critical than umm…a scholarship meeting…
Then I sat down and thought to myself...I’m making all this up just to take da easy way out…da gist of the situ was if my boss thought it was not acceptable that I should cancel a presentation for a scholarship meeting then well it just wasn’t acceptable…but I knew they were of equal importance…so I decided to go with da truth and surprise surprise…he was ok with it…

Morale of the story…so its risky telling da truth sometimes…and considering us humans are creatures of habit…it aint easy stopping in the middle of a big whopper and correcting it…and its embarrassing tripping on your own words…darn…but da feeling of absence of guilt you get afterwards…well let me be a freak and tell you…it feels good…absolutely possitively sleep-easy-at-night good...