Thursday, May 28, 2009

Two roads for me to take.. two roads to travel...but none's gonna take me home and none's gonna feel this safe....

When did it all become about the money....the k'ching....about people's perceptions....about what they think and feel about you....when did it stop being about you and start being about them...when did it start hurting and stopped stopping....when did we lose ourselves? I look at my sister and I see myself so many years ago....positive, energetic, brave, full of life and spirit....me a long time ago...I think I envy her...hehe good thing I love her so much...

I want to walk back to the place where the child became the adult...where life taught lessons I wanna unlearn...where when love hurt you let it....and then you picked up the pieces and moved on...when I remembered how to love...I want to walk back to where I could look in the mirror and see myself and not the face of the demons I keep fighting everyday...I want the music back...the guitar strings that are now broken...

I want t believe in nirvana...in a higher power...in the strength of your mind...in god...whatever works....because I'm tired of fighting....with you, with me. I wanna stop falling short....because that's what you expect of me...I wanna run the fastest I am capable of and leave you to pace behind...I wanna catch me when I fall not expecting you to....I wanna be weak for a moment....to cry....because it's ok...

I wanna stop feeling that this is the end to all da means of my life... I wanna feel the free will that I speak so highly of....I wanna act it...behave it....succumb to it....swim in it...let it swim in my veins....

More than anything else in the world I want to walk away from you and walk back to me....and the only thing stopping me is a measly strip of paper...one demon...

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