When you wish upon a star.....

I need a dream. In my head there are a million little sparks of the future, sparks that I have lit and forgotten about. I need a dream. I need to hold on to one thing that makes me want to run with the clouds. I want that one thing that consumes me and saves me. I keep changing, thinking that walking different paths I might find mine. I haven't. Well thankfully I haven't looked back yet. But those little fires die sometimes, and I think that without it there's no point to all this. I don't want them to see a pretty face so I go ugly. They put me down and say I can't so I don't. I'm chasing my own tail. I need a dream. I need to stop remembering how warm your smile is, 'cos when I'm cold and hungry you won't be my easy way out. I want to stop feeling guilty for staying away and remember I do so to let you heal, to let me heal. I want to stop being ashamed and accept that the past is a baggage you choose to carry, and not one thrust upon you. I want to forget how cold and dark that house was...is...I want to hide. And then a spark fires and I want to soar again. I need a dream. Just for awhile, I need a dream to wake up from reality.

ghosts...

Idealism sucks...there's nothing ideal about it...we dream...we dream about dreaming...and we are so happy just dreaming we don't bother to act it out....we have our perfect situations...we love to think that those perfect situations have their imperfections but we love it more for it...we love to fool ourselves...we love to think that we were never in love...we were just fooling around...there's a reason why its called fooling around, 'cos it makes a fool out of you...sure you laugh...sure you runaway....of course you're scared...but you never think that this was the dream...you run 'cos it's what ur feet are used to...because for you its better than breathing...better than getting high on a few puffs of god knows what they do...the high is in the pain of knowing that you will cause pain...not realizing it takes two to tango two to bleed...you think you're ahead of the game when everyone else behind you are just ghosts...and so many...you're little collectibles...you're memorabilia of life as it were...you're still running...to idealism...away from a dark house...away from cutting words...away from angry eyes...away from claws...not realizing there was another road...one with loving hand and laughing eyes and sunshine...but you can't chose...there IS no choice...the intertwined mangled idealism of life...I hate idealism...idealism sucks...

You Cry

Stopped wondering today
Why I forgot to smile
Stopped remembering the day
How I learnt to die
If your wondering why I turn
I turn 'cos love's a lie
Don't wanna be ur life
Don't want u in mine

But you take my breath away
Even when I break you
You take my breath way
I can't defeat you
You take my breath away
Cos its a prayer that I say
I hope you never find the day
You remember why
You cry

Sometimes I wonder if I don't say it
Will it disappear
I know if I break u so many times
you'll learn fear
But somehow you know that I
I need you here
Without you near
I might not survive

But you take my breath away
Even when I break you
You take my breath way
I can't defeat you
You take my breath away
Cos its a prayer that I say
I hope you never find the day
You remember why
You cry

And when you lift me throw me up
I remember the miracles I forgot
This place I'm in you've always been
The whisper in my heart

But you take my breath away
Even when I break you
You take my breath way
I can't defeat you
You take my breath away
Cos its a prayer that I say
I hope you never find the day
You remember why
I cry

The Edge of all Things Strange and Beautiful

Dear You

You held me when I was broken
Held me together
Kept my breath in my body
As my soul fell apart
You throw me
Into the sky
Passing rainbows and clouds
Touching the stars
You free me
Knowing I can never be captured
You let me find you
All on my own
You breath me
For it is you
and only you
I will let
To breath me in

The Green Eyed 19th

Tell me again
Once more
Why I shouldn't
When I really should
When tomorrow brings you here
And takes you away from there
I know its not fair
But this is your battle
And I see in your eyes
You're losing
And I don't want to win
Not like this
Tomorrow
I know will bring you home
But then I would be gone
I would have fought mine
And won
For this I apologize
And for your eternal journey
Of love

I hold my breath

So when I take the next
I've known the value of life
I close my eyes
So that when I wake
I've known dark from light
I walk barefoot
So that my feet knows
The feeling of this earth
I choose to love
For when it breaks
My heart will heal and grow

Just Another Spring Day

I wondered at that pigeon
Hopping along side another
Head held high
A soldier warring for her pride
hiding a limp
I wondered at her
Another passenger
Another pedestrian
In this town
Of eternal winter
And seldom sun
A single legged miracle
All her life a balancing act
And as the bus moved along
I wondered if it was an act at all
Or if somewhere down her one footed life
The brave face stuck
Until all that was left
Was her
Simply a soldier
a Soldier
Warring for her pride

Looking for shortcuts!!!

What's with ppl when they've crossed certain barriers they lose their braveness. It's like they've build themselves up for just one moment and after that's passed it's like they drop themselves at the fence and curl up to fall asleep. Isn't life about looking for the next something something? Finding the next to do in the list? I never ever thought I'd find myself here. 'Cos I've always been da gutsy one. Don't Like - Walk Away, Bored - Move on, Been There Done That - Turn the page. I don't believe in sitting still and watching moments pass by, but that's exactly what I've been doing. Changing that!!! NOW.

I Love...

I love the way you see the world...just light...colour and light...I love how when I catch my breath you breath for me...I love that you seem to smile even when you try to hide it...I love how you pretend even though I know you know me better...I love how everything about you is simple and you allow me to be the complication...I love that you try without seeming to and how you silently take a skip behind me and I pretend not to see...I love that I know you without needing to do so...I love that even though you see the crossroads not too far away you seem to be only in this moment, only now...I love your innocence...I love your maturity...I love the little memories that flash in your eyes...I love how your voice just seeps in...resonating...I love how you love the world...how you seem to simply capture a moment and set it free...I love how I knew that even before I saw...I love that I forget and you forgive...I love how you listen and how you hear what I don't intend to say...I love how you set me free...I love how you blend into my moment...and make me blend into yours...I love that you're just a little vain to wonder if this is about you...and I love that I'd only forever keep you guessing...until time or something else takes it out of my hands...

Whenever the twain shall meet....

In our corners of this world we sit and wonder soul brother, soul sister, if one day our circle will be complete...but one thing we know for sure....it will be as if we never were apart....